Friend Offers To Pay For Friend’s B-Day Dinner, Refuses When They See Where He Chose (2024)

Friend Offers To Pay For Friend’s B-Day Dinner, Refuses When They See Where He Chose (1)

Friends, Relationships

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Generosity and reciprocity are core parts of friendship. Being true friends with someone means understanding the need for a healthy give-and-take dynamic. You naturally want to do nice things for each other without attaching any strings.

So it’s a bit of a head-scratcher when someone who you thought you were close to does something slightly mean. Reddit user u/fakeenamee, who is vegan, turned to the AITA online community for their help with a delicate situation. The OP promised to pay for their friend’s birthday dinner. However, he intentionally picked a restaurant that pokes fun at vegans and has no food the OP can eat. Scroll down for the full story.

Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from them.

Paying for a close friend’s birthday dinner is a lovely and creative idea for a gift

Image credits: Los Muertos Crew / Pexels (not the actual photo)

An internet user asked for advice after their friend purposefully chose a restaurant that does not serve food that they can eat

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Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: fakeenamee

Food is meant to bring people together, not drive them apart

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The internet user’s story made quite a big splash on Reddit. At the time of writing, the post has 11k upvotes and 3k comments.

The vast majority of the readers were very supportive. They thought that the OP would be doing nothing wrong if they decided to go back on their promise to treat their friend to a lavish meal.

Taking the entire context into account, it really does sound like a very expensive way to have an awful time going out.

Food is what connects people and deepens relationships, no matter their culture. So to entirely exclude someone from being able to eat sends a very clear and unfriendly message.

As redditor u/fakeenamee said, they would have been perfectly fine eating at a non-vegan restaurant, so long as they had something they could nibble.

“I expected him to pick a steak house and I would’ve been fine with a salad and some side,” they explained to the AITA online community. “I didn’t expect him to choose somewhere that prides themselves on meat being in every single dish on the menu.”

Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 (not the actual photo)

It’s important to be honest with ourselves about whether our friends invest the same amount of effort into us as we do in them

It would be incredibly difficult for anyone to throw away a friendship that has lasted years or even decades. And, truth be told, there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ friend. Everyone has their flaws, just like they have their upsides.

However, there are moments that take us aback and make us question the very foundation on which our friendship is built. Even though friendships should not be tossed aside lightly, it’s vital that we’re honest about where we stand.

For instance, let’s say that we suddenly realize that we always move mountains for someone who’s never around to help us out.

Then, it would only be fair that we put less time and effort into the friendship—it’s not a good social investment. We can also broach the problem head-on and talk to our pals about how their behavior affects us. It’s possible that they’re not aware of this.

Or… they might simply not value our friendship as much as we do. Someone might be our BFF, but we’re only a tertiary buddy to them. Yes, this fact might hurt. But it’s better to embrace the bitter truth than to live surrounded by cozy illusions.

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If you feel like your friends don’t respect you and you cannot trust them, it’s very likely that the relationship needs strengthening. Alternatively, you may need to enforce healthier boundaries with these people.

Anyone who constantly talks about you behind your back, constantly asks for favors, and isn’t around to help you when you need it is a false friend. You should also be concerned if someone constantly gets jealous when things are going well for you and if they don’t offer you any support when you’re down on your luck.

Authentic friendship isn’t just about supporting one another, though. It also means telling the truth and being honest when the other person steps out of line.

The author shared a bit more context in a comment

Most folks were very supportive of the internet user. Here’s the advice they gave them on handling the delicate situation

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Friend Offers To Pay For Friend’s B-Day Dinner, Refuses When They See Where He Chose (5)

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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Friend Offers To Pay For Friend’s B-Day Dinner, Refuses When They See Where He Chose (6)

Jonas Grinevičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real.At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design.In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle.I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

Read less »

Friend Offers To Pay For Friend’s B-Day Dinner, Refuses When They See Where He Chose (7)

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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Friend Offers To Pay For Friend’s B-Day Dinner, Refuses When They See Where He Chose (8)

Indrė Lukošiūtė

Author, BoredPanda staff

Read more »

I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

Read less »

Friend Offers To Pay For Friend’s B-Day Dinner, Refuses When They See Where He Chose (2024)

FAQs

What to do when someone offers to pay for dinner? ›

In this instance, it's OK to insist that you want to pay, too. Tell the friend that while you appreciate them always offering to take care of the bill, you'd like to contribute.

Should your friends pay for your birthday dinner? ›

If you invite people to an event that you planned — you're a host, and it's on the host to pay. This remains true even if you're throwing your own birthday party, so don't pick a pricey spot and expect your friends to pay your way.

Who pays for the birthday dinner if you invite someone? ›

Should I pay for the birthday dinner? According to The Daily Meal, the general and most ideal approach to handling the bill is for all guests — minus the guest of honor — to evenly split it. That way, it attaches similarly to people's orders and, in addition, separates out the birthday person's bill for taxes and tips.

What to do when you re invited to a birthday dinner you can t afford? ›

The kindest way to decline is by telling the organizer or guest of honor privately, without going into details as to why you can't join, Swann says. From there, it's good practice to suggest another activity or outing within your budget that you can do together.

Is it rude to pay for someone's dinner? ›

Normally it's not rude at all, especially if you do it anonymously. When my elderly mother was dining out, it was common for another diner to pay for her meal (small town and she'd lived there for decades). She would have no idea until the server told her someone paid the check.

How do you react when someone offers to pay? ›

It is not bad manners to accept when someone offers to pay for you, but there are some important things to consider: Are you making a habit of this person paying for you? If so, you are using them, and they may come to resent you. You should offer to return the treat on occasion.

Is it okay to host a party and ask the guests to pay? ›

It's unacceptable to invite someone into your home, under the auspices of hospitality, then charge them for said hospitality. The cost of the “dinner” part of the dinner party is on you. That said, there are ways to reduce your costs. A dinner party doesn't have to be an elaborate gourmet production.

How do you tell guests to pay for their own dinner? ›

The bottom of this invite states, “No Host – Visit www. (restaurant-name).com for menu and pricing. I've made it clear that guests will need to pay for their own food and beverages without looking tacky or getting too deep into details.

How to ask people to pay for their own meal at a birthday party? ›

Please understand that each guest will be paying for a meal and/or beverages of his or her choice. We hope to see you there! That should clearly and kindly express that each person will be paying for food and drinks of their choosing.

How to split the bill for a birthday dinner? ›

"The friends would split the check evenly and pick up the birthday honoree," Gottsman says. This is one case where even if one person orders more than the others, you should still split the check evenly down the middle–and tack on the honoree's portion equally.

Is it rude to show up to a birthday dinner without a gift? ›

Don't arrive empty-handed to the party, as it is considered rude to show up without a gift for the guest of honor. Don't overindulge in food or drinks at the party, as it can be seen as disrespectful to the host and the other guests.

How do you invite people to a dinner they have to pay for? ›

How do I invite people to a restaurant, but make it clear that they will each pay their own way? It's all in the phrasing. You need to make it clear that you are the coordinator, not the host. Don't send invitations; rather call and say, “John, would you and Ellen like to meet us at Chez Pierre on Saturday night?

Should I pay for dinner on his birthday? ›

If It Is Someone's Birthday

Typically, the person of honor is not supposed to pay for his or her meal if celebrating a birthday or special occasion, especially if it is a group meal.

How do you tell a friend you can't afford their birthday? ›

Start by being honest and direct by saying something like 'I appreciate the invite, but I'm currently working on paying off or saving for 'X' at the minute'. You just need to communicate that you are being mindful of how you spend your money,” she explains.

What is it called when everyone pays for their own meal? ›

"Going Dutch" (sometimes written with lower-case dutch) is a term that indicates that each person participating in a paid activity covers their own expenses, rather than any one person in the group defraying the cost for the entire group.

How do you politely decline someone paying for your meal? ›

Just say, “I really appreciate you offering to pay, but I'd really like to pay for my own meal.” If they ask why, you can tell them that it makes you uncomfortable, or you'd just like to be able to cover your meal, or whatever your reason is.

How do you tell guests to pay for their own meal? ›

Be direct and to the point. You don't want guests to be uncertain about your meaning. For example: “Food at our wedding reception will be provided to guests at their expense. The cost per guest is (price per plate).

What to say when a guy pays for dinner? ›

Thank him when he pays.

Be specific and make sure you are thanking him for whatever experience he gave you. Try saying something like the following: ”Thank you for dinner. That was the most delicious lasagna I've ever had!”

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